December 16th, 2008Author: adminPosted by: Brenda Kula | December 16, 2008
In less than 48 hours, my first granddaughter, little Marley Ross, should be born into this world. Tomorrow I shall drive the six hours to be with our small family in Oklahoma to welcome her.
Thirty-four years ago last month, her mother was born. It was a very different scenario. I was 17 and fairly alone in the world. I don’t even remember going to the hospital, or how I got there. I vaguely remember her birth by C-section, as I was very sick with pre-eclampsia. What I most recall was a young doctor coming into the room during the nights before she was born, continually asking me who the president was. Did I know what year it was? I drifted in and out.
Probably this was the time in my life when I most needed a mother myself.
Back in those days, you didn’t get a baby shower when you weren’t “happily” married. Most girls who found themselves pregnant had fathers who “coerced” the young man into a quick wedding. A baby shower usually followed, and a baby was born “early.”
She came into the world on Thanksgiving Day, 1974. Every time the door to my room opened after her birth, I thought it might perhaps be her 19 year old father, with a change of heart. Wanting to see his child. But he had already found love with another girl, and she carried his second daughter. They were married and living the “couples” life with others our age. Still… I waited.
I held her and nursed her, amazed at the connection of mother and child when skin touched skin. Spellbound by the tiny perfect fingers and pudgy little toes. I finally had what I’d always yearned for, a family. Albeit a family of two. And not exactly the one I’d envisioned.
In those days you normally were expected not to attend school in “your condition.” Instead you stayed home and were given lessons. Mine was to read books. Less than two months after her birth, I returned to school. I attended classes during the morning, while she stayed at a church daycare center. Then I picked her up and took her to a job I had babysitting two little boys. And then I turned around and went to night school, while she stayed with a great-aunt of mine. This was to catch up so I could graduate high school with my peers. And I did. My daughter was in attendance when I received my diploma in May of 1975. She was six months old. I then purchased a trailer house for us to live in. I won’t even say “mobile home” because this was basically a tin can on wheels. The cost was $900.
When she was two years old, I married. He was a college professor, and was quickly enamored of my child. He adopted her and life went on. I had a second daughter in 1978. Both are grown now, of course. And very close.
If there is a lesson to be learned here, it is for girls to continue their education. To not let anything stop them. Because that is one of the best gifts you can give your child. The future is often abysmal for those who drop out. And the cycle of poverty usually continues.
Marley Ross will be born to a couple married over ten years. She will have a five year old brother. A loving home with her father’s parents living a mere walk away on a beautiful piece of land out in the country. There is a lake and many trees. Nature abounds. I will travel to visit her whenever I can.
I will be in attendance when my first child has her own C-section come Thursday, December 18th. I will anxiously wait, worrying about both mother and child, as the surgery takes place.
Perhaps I will think of that time in my life, similar yet so different, 34 years ago. Or maybe it will just be a hazy distant memory that lays dormant. As I wait in the wings to hold my granddaughter for the very first time.
Posted in Current Affairs | Tags: granddaughter’s birth
« Heaven In A Chair Marley Ross Arrives! »
Category: 
| 
Stacey
By: Stacey on December 16, 2008
at 10:20 pm
Emotions must be running very deep for you at this time. You had such a difficult start with your little girl but you stuck to your education and graduation. You were one brave, persevering young woman.
I was actually in university at 17 .. a little too young and naive to believe. I had so much growing up to do myself.
You did a wonderful thing for yourself and your daughter at that time. I admire that tremendously !
My best wishes for your daughter and the birth of your granddaughter ! Hope all goes well and you enjoy your time with them : )
By: Joy on December 16, 2008
at 10:28 pm
By: nola on December 16, 2008
at 10:39 pm
Did I ever tell you the Diva works at Birth Choice? It’s a program to help girls keep their babies, or if they choose, they may give them to a family for adoption. It’s been an enlightening experience for the Diva to see girls her age making very mature and difficult decisions.
The older I get, the more I see that this world is a tough place. It takes tough and tender people to navigate it.~~Dee
By: Dee/reddirtramblings on December 16, 2008
at 11:05 pm
I sit here with tears in my eyes, I am so happy for you and so moved by your story. I graduated from HS in 1972 and there were 2 unwed pregnant girls in my class, who continued to attend school throughout their pregnancy. Interesting how different area’s of the country handled this ‘back then’.
I became a Grandmother on New Year’s Day of this year to baby Cora Leigh and I can’t begin to tell you how it’s impacted my life. I too …. drive or fly to visit my daughter/son-in-law/granddaughter and will continue doing so as long as I am able. You will be doing the same
Be careful on your drive, take lots of pictures and God bless the new addition to your family. I will be thinking of you.
By: Elaine on December 17, 2008
at 12:12 am
By: deb on December 17, 2008
at 12:20 am
What a Great Christmas gift for your entire family. I will be thinking about you all and waiting to see those new baby pictures.
By: Angie on December 17, 2008
at 12:22 am
By: Lynn@thevintagenest on December 17, 2008
at 12:23 am
Bless your heart this coming Thursday and be careful on your drive.
Give a soft kiss on Marley Ross’s sweet neck and cheek. I love the smell of new little ones!
You are an inspiration!
Beth
By: Beth on December 17, 2008
at 1:10 am
Hug that new grandbaby and shower her with love.Hug your daughter too as she will need her Mom’s love as well.
Congratulations to your family!
Diane
By: Diane ( Crafty Passions) on December 17, 2008
at 1:27 am
By: cindee on December 17, 2008
at 2:27 am
I wish it was on the 19th because that is my birthday.
You’ve been through so much in your life. I appreciate that you continue to share your heart and wisdom with all of us.
Congratulations and travel safely. Come back with pictures!
By: Okie Sister on December 17, 2008
at 2:38 am
Thank you for sharing your story. You are definitely an inspiration. Be safe, and I can’t wait to see photos of Marley Ross.
Blessings,
Lorilee
By: Lorilee on December 17, 2008
at 3:50 am
By: tina on December 17, 2008
at 6:34 am
By: krissie on December 17, 2008
at 11:12 am
Take care, congratulations, be safe, and give hugs & smooches to the new little one for me.
Debi
By: Debi on December 17, 2008
at 6:33 pm
Congrats!!
By: TinaTx on December 17, 2008
at 7:40 pm
By: Pat @ Back Porch Musings on December 17, 2008
at 11:15 pm
By: Alex on December 18, 2008
at 12:25 am
My mom had the same experience you went through, except for the fact that she was rushed (by my grandfather) to Vegas with my father where she was married and where it was promptly annulled before I was born. I’m so glad that this time and the time before were different for your daughter.
Much love and many hugs on this special day!!
rue
By: rue on December 18, 2008
at 1:29 am
By: Tamara on December 18, 2008
at 1:55 am
By: joey on December 18, 2008
at 2:55 am
Can’t wait to see the baby pictures.
By: Angie on December 18, 2008
at 2:58 am
Frances
By: fairegarden on December 18, 2008
at 12:03 pm
By: GeorgiaPeachez on December 18, 2008
at 1:08 pm
Marley Ross is going to be one lucky little girl to have such a supportive and special Grandma.
Love,
Gretchen
By: Gretchen on December 18, 2008
at 2:01 pm
By: Okie Sister on December 18, 2008
at 2:54 pm
Congratulations Brenda! I, too, started out the ‘wrong’ way, and was super blessed with a man to provide for my children, and myself. (emotionally, spiritually, financially)
You can’t top grandbabies, can you? Travel safe, grandma, and bring back lots of pictures of the new addition (and the ‘old’ addition).
Be safe, and God bless! (and how cool you had her at Thanksgiving, and she is giving you another grandchild at Christmas:)
By: Carla on December 18, 2008
at 4:23 pm
Drive safe….
HUgs
Linda
By: Linda’s Blue gate on December 18, 2008
at 6:09 pm
By: Joanna {sweet finds} on December 18, 2008
at 7:45 pm
By: Sandy on December 18, 2008
at 10:47 pm
All my best to you, your daughter and your new grand-daughter.
As always, thank you for sharing. Everyone has a story and you really touched my heart with a piece of your story today, Brenda.
Can’t wait to hear how it all went today.
Happy, happy holidays!
xo~Tracie
By: Tracie ~ My Petite Maison on December 19, 2008
at 12:39 am
By: susans at black eyed susans kitchen on December 19, 2008
at 1:38 am
This post was so moving. Many things could be learned from your experience about how we treat young people, loneliness- aloneness, the need for family, a mom…on and on. How different for the little one you will now welcome to the world surrounded by family. You and her.
Have a lovely time on this wondrous occasion!
By: mere on December 19, 2008
at 4:33 am
By: Jill on December 19, 2008
at 10:46 pm
By: Gail on December 20, 2008
at 8:11 pm
Merry Christmas!
Susan
xo
By: Susan Tuttle on December 21, 2008
at 3:26 am
I hope all went well. Blessings this season.
By: Laura on December 21, 2008
at 11:28 pm